Talk:Nigel Park/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Pickersgill-Cunliffe in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to respond and correct me as necessary!
Prelim
edit- No dup links
- Images correctly licensed
- No edit war
- Earwig reports no copyvio
Lede
edit- "He briefly flew with No. 122 Squadron" - not the longest lede so I don't think noting that this service was over the Channel here would be out of place
Early life
edit- Link Gisborne
Second World War
edit- why say Levin instead of RNZAF Station Weraroa?
- "soloed" - I think this could do with a little clarification to ensure understanding for people who don't naturally understand the significance of this, and what it means
- "further flight training with the Royal Canadian Air Force" - possible to say what he trained on?
- "He later served with No. 122 Squadron" - is no date available for when he finished training and moved to 122 Squadron (unless of course this was April)?
- "although his own aircraft received some damage to its wing." - this doesn't seem worded correctly. It's not like the damaged stopped him from shooting down the 109, so perhaps "...despite his own aircraft receiving..."
- "of enemy fighters" - is specifying the type possible?
- "despite jammed cannons" - wording a bit awkward again to my mind. What about "despite his cannons having jammed..."
- Unless my maths is wrong (highly possible), I count here him destroying 9 aircraft plus some shares of others. Do the shares add up for the tenth victory or am I missing something?
References
edit- All references look good. Your publisher location style isn't all the same though, e.g. you've got "London, United Kingdom" for one and just "London" for another. Same for Christchurch (minor, I know!).
- No, that's a good catch. When assembling the references, I often cut and paste from older articles I have worked on. I used to have countries as part of the location but am shifting away from that to just city. I have made them all consistent now.
That's all I have so far, will await your replies. As an aside, have you thought about working on Keith Park? Certainly needs some help! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Pickersgill-Cunliffe, thanks for taking a look at this, I have responded to your comments. Yes, Keith Park is on my list to do but I keep getting distracted by other projects! Zawed (talk) 09:05, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- Happy to pass this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Good luck with Keith Park...eventually! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:54, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- Pickersgill-Cunliffe, thanks for taking a look at this, I have responded to your comments. Yes, Keith Park is on my list to do but I keep getting distracted by other projects! Zawed (talk) 09:05, 1 November 2021 (UTC)