Talk:Hollywood A.D./GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Glimmer721 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 16:28, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
Will review soon. Glimmer721 talk 16:28, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
Comments:
- "...the attempted murder of a Cardinal O'Fallon at his church". It should be either "the Cardinal O'Fallon" or "a Cardinal". Also, clarify whose church it is--Skinner's or Federman's?
- Charles Burks points to List of minor The X-Files characters, but there isn't a section for him there.
- "Mulder visits Cardinal O'Fallon, who admits..." Wait. I thought Cardinal O'Fallon was murdered?
- "...the man comes back to life on the operating table, but when Scully looks down he is back on the operating table." This could be made clearer; maybe just say that Scully did not notice he came back to life.
- "...hinting at the continued romantic relationship between Mulder and Scully that has been hinted at in the last few episodes." Change one of the hints.
- Give Spotniz's title (executive producer, etc.)
- "a smart, intelligent, quirky, and intelligent idea" I know this is a direct quote, but you may want to edit it to avoid repition that doesn't add anything. Maybe "a smart, intelligent, quirky...idea".
- "Assistant director Barry K. Thomas was cast as Sugar Bear" The character of Sugar Bear isn't mentioned in the plot, so who is he?
- "Several of the family members and friends cast by Duchovny able to apply for their Screen Actor's Guild card as well as apply for a health insurance plan". Missing a word here...is it supposed to be "were able"?
- "nudge-nudge, wink-wink writing-directin" Is that supposed to be "directing"?
Looks good other than those small things. I made a few small fixes as well. Thanks for reviewing my articles, by the way! Glimmer721 talk 20:01, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
- OK, I believe I've addressed all the issues. The only one I didn't change was the second issues about O'Fallon. He wasn't murdered, but an attempt on his life was made, unsuccessfully.--Gen. Quon (talk) 23:02, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
- Sorry, did I miss the "attempted"? My bad. Passing... Glimmer721 talk 23:59, 8 April 2012 (UTC)