Talk:Walter de Lacy, Lord of Weobley and Ludlow/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 12:50, 6 June 2012 (UTC)Reply

Marvellous stuff. I could pass it now, very easily, but just a few very minor comments.

  • "succeeded by a son": Which son, or is this not known? It is not mentioned in the main body.
  • "Another son became an abbot.": Ditto, who, where.
  • "that were held of the Bishop of Bayeux": Should it not be held from; and possibly make it clearer what this means for the general reader?
    • See how this works? "Held of" is actually slightly more correct, as I was taught in college. "from" is okay, but "of" is better (I suddenly am hearing sheep bleat ... "two legs bad, four legs good"...) Ealdgyth - Talk 12:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "stopping a Welsh raid and then raiding into Wales in retribution": raid … raiding. Could "attack" be used?
  • "along the border with Wales": Very minor point: maybe "Welsh border"?
  • "Considerable confusion exists about the wife of Pain fitzJohn, Sybil. C. P. Lewis names her as the daughter of Walter": Possibly my stupidity, but when I first read this, I thought it gave Lewis' name as Sybil C. P. Lewis. It may be that my eye-test is due, but maybe reword this as "Considerable confusion exists about Sybil, the wife of Pain fitzJohn. C. P. Lewis names her as the daughter of Walter…"

Sarastro1 (talk) 12:59, 6 June 2012 (UTC)Reply

All good, passing now. Somehow I did not notice the part in "Family" which clearly explains the sons. I think it's time for a holiday... Incidentally, I have no real preference on the "held of" or "held from", but we were usually told to use "from". Doesn't really matter either way, and I have a suspicion that "of" sounds better but may be a little more impenetrable to the ordinary reader. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:01, 8 June 2012 (UTC)Reply